


chocolate milk

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Flirty Harley Keener, Fluff, Flustered Peter Parker, M/M, MJ is a Good Bro, Meet-Cute, Parkner Secret Santa 2019, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Sassy Harley Keener, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, bartender harley keener, everyone is over 21 dont worry, matchmaker mj
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21956809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Peter ambled to the bar to buy his first drink, mentally rehearsing the words so he wouldn’t mess them up. He plopped down on the stool, made eye contact with the ridiculously attractive bartender, and confidently spoke.“One chocolate milk, please.”As soon as he said it, he clapped a hand over his mouth, mortified. Peter squeaked as the bartender- his nametag read Harley- laughed out loud. Harley looked unfairly hot while laughing, even if it was at Peter’s expense. He shot Peter an amused glance, coming closer.“We don’t serve that here,” he said dryly. “Want to try that again?”
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker
Comments: 10
Kudos: 383
Collections: Marvel(ous)Universe





	chocolate milk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverNyxa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverNyxa/gifts).



> i saw this prompt when i was looking for inspiration and it SCREAMED parkner
> 
> happy holidays to silvernyxa, my secret santa! i hope you like it!!!

Peter wasn’t exactly sure how he’d ended up at the Avenger’s Bar, other than it was his 21st birthday and he’d never been able to say no to his friends. Ned and MJ had dragged him to the bar to celebrate adulthood with alcohol he could legally purchase. He had to admit, he really did feel grown up when he got carded at the door and then let inside.

It wasn’t like he’d never drank before, but Peter was blaming his idiocy on being a lightweight. MJ had given him three of her oddly delicious fruity concoctions before running off the dance floor with Ned and sending him to the bar.

“Be an adult!” she had cheered, the alcohol loosening her lips more than usual. She had given him one of her  _ do this or else  _ stares, so she wasn’t  _ too  _ much softer. “I’ll meet you out there.”

So Peter had ambled to the bar to buy his first drink, mentally rehearsing the words so he wouldn’t mess them up. He had plopped down on the stool, made eye contact with the ridiculously attractive bartender, and confidently spoke.

“One chocolate milk, please.”

As soon as he said it, he clapped a hand over his mouth, mortified. Peter squeaked as the bartender- his nametag read  _ Harley _ \- laughed out loud. Harley looked unfairly hot while laughing, even if it was at Peter’s expense. He shot Peter an amused glance, coming closer.

“We don’t serve that here,” he said dryly. “Want to try that again?”

“I… uh…” Peter stuttered out, tongue failing him due to his all-encompassing embarrassment. He wanted the floor to swallow him up.

“So,” Harley chuckled, clearly ignoring the way Peter wanted to spontaneously combust. “I’m guessing you  _ don’t  _ come here often?”

Peter made a wounded noise. “I just turned 21,” he explained helplessly. “I’ve never actually ordered a drink before and…”

“Habit,” Harley finished with a sympathetic nod. “Do you drink a lot of chocolate milk, then?”

“That’s the thing,” Peter replied, voice muffled from where his head was buried in his hands. “I’m lactose intolerant!”

Harley burst into laughter, the kind that left him doubled over and gasping. His eyes leaked tears and his cheeks were as red as Peter’s own. Peter couldn’t bring himself to be offended, though, not when he was laughing along just as hard. Objectively, it was the kind of situation he couldn’t  _ not  _ laugh at, just the right amount of pathetic to be hilarious.

“That,” Harley said once he caught his breath. “Is possible the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.”

Every thought in Peter’s brain halted. “Adorable?” he squeaked, face flaming again. The hottest person he’d ever seen had just called him adorable and he was practically nonfunctional (technically, Peter reminded himself, Harley had called his  _ stupidity  _ adorable, but Peter figured he and his one brain cell were one and the same, so it counted).

When Harley winked at him, Peter was pretty sure his brain melted out of his ears. “Adorable,” the bartender repeated, leaning casually against the bar. “So, if not chocolate milk, what do you want?”

“You?” Peter said, the alcohol he’d already drank getting rid of his filter. “Oh, god, I mean-”

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you’re not usually like this,” Harley didn’t look angry, which Peter took as a good sign. In fact, he was blushing slightly. 

Peter grinned bashfully. “Not really, no,” he admitted. “Normally, I’m too hopeless in front of a cute boy to even string a sentence together. I’m pretty sure MJ- that’s my friend- got me drunk on purpose so I wouldn’t be able to shut up. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“Just a little,” Harley teased. “But you’re in luck: I think you’re pretty damn cute, too. My shift ends in a few minutes. Wanna get out of here and grab some ice cream?”

“It’s the middle of winter,” said Peter, hope burgeoning in his chest. “Is it really ice cream weather?”

“That’s not a no,” countered Harley. He leaned a little closer over the bar separating them. “Because ice cream is a year-round treat.”

“It’s not,” Peter said. He smiled shyly. “It’s a yes, actually. Or, it was going to be. Well, it is now, and that’s what matters. Wait, this is a date, right?”

Harley laughed, delighted. “Yes, Peter, it’s a date,” he answered. “Maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll have chocolate milk at the ice cream place.”

Peter scowled. “That’s not ever going away, is it?”

“Probably not, no,” Harley said, coming around the bar and offering Peter his hand. “But let’s get out of here and you can try to convince me to forget about it.”

Peter took Harley’s hand, letting the other boy tug him out of the bar easily. He had a feeling he’d do anything Harley asked, if Harley smiled at him like that. Well, Peter decided, there were worse things in the world. 

(The ice cream was delicious. And it tasted even better of of Harley’s lips when the other boy pulled him in for a kiss.)

\---

MJ appraised the bar with an approving glance. Peter appeared to have finally gotten a date, if the sappy look Harley was sending him was any indication. She gave it ten minutes before they left together. 

She tipped her vodka at Ned. “Those fruity things were a good idea,” she told him, draining the shot in one sip. “I knew his tolerance was shit.”

“He’s a lightweight,” Ned agreed. He was quiet for a moment. Then he asked, “How did you know they were going to like each other?”

“Peter has a thing for sarcastic genius boys,” she explained. “And Harley goes soft for cute dumbasses. They’re literally perfect for each other; I knew it from the moment I met Harley.”

Ned accepted her explanation with a sloppy nod of his head. He was more than a little drunk, she noticed, as he raised his glass to hers. “To getting Peter a date!” he said. 

MJ looked across the room. Harley had grabbed Peter’s hand and was dragging him outside. Peter was grinning like a lunatic. “Happy 21st birthday, Peter Parker,” she murmured, more than a little self-congratulatory.

Now, she thought, looking at where Ned had passed out on the table, she had to work her matchmaking magic all over again. She probably had Betty’s number saved somewhere...

She drained her drink. She was going to need a lot more alcohol for that one.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make me smile :))
> 
> yell at me on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


End file.
